Kuki abakobwa bamwe bahitamo gukundana n'abagabo babaruta kure?

Nigeze kwandika inkuru ivuga ku mpamvu abasore bakundana n’abagore babaruta kure (kanda hano uyisome). Icyo gihe hari bamwe bashatse ko nanavuga impamvu hari bamwe mu bakobwa bakundana n’abagabo bakuze kubarusha, ndetse akenshi banaruta ba se bababyara. Nkora iyo nkuru ya mbere hari abasore benshi twari twaganiriye, akaba ari nayo mpamvu naganiriye n’inkumi zitari nke mbere yuko nandika ibi. Bambwiye byinshi bitandukanye, nkaba ngiye kubibanyuriramo muri make.

1. Abagabo bakuze baba bafite amafaranga n’umutungo bihagije

Abahanga mu mibanire n’imyitwarire y’abantu bavuga ko n'ubwo hari byinshi byahindutse mu buzima bw’abagore, cyane cyane kuva mu myaka ya za 1960, hari ibintu abagore b’iki gihe bahuriraho n’abo mu myaka nka miliyoni 5 ishize. Abagore b’icyo gihe n’abubu bose bashaka kubana n’umuntu wabasha kwitunga nabo akaba yabafasha bibaye ngombwa (n’ubwo ubu abagore bakora ari benshi kandi bakanahembwa neza, bakibeshaho). Ibi bishatse kuvuga ko umugabo ufite amafaranga cyangwa witunze abona amanota menshi imbere y’igitsina gore (kuva ku gakobwa k’imyaka 7 kugera ku mukecuru wa 77) kuko baba bamubona nk’umuntu wageze ku ntego (a winner) kandi uri serious. Ntibirirwa bibaza aho wayakuye, ushobora kuba ucuruza ibiyobyabwenge cyangwa uyiba ariko ukubonye atarakumenya akubona neza.

Abagabo bakuze rero akenshi baba bafite amafaranga kuko baba barabayeho igihe kinini, bakagira n’umwanya wo kuyashaka no kuyabona. Kuba afite amafaranga bishobora kumukururira inkumi (n’amahirwe n’ibyago bijyana nabyo) kurusha twe tukiri bato, kandi ni nako bigenda.

2. Batanga batitangiriye itama

Hari akantu gasekeje gakunda kubaho, ukabona umusore n’inkumi bagiye nko muri restaurant yiyubashye, umukobwa bakamuha menu itariho ibiciro, umusore we bakamuha iriho ibiciro. Uko umukobwa a-commanda (order), umusore akazajya amama akajisho kuri menu iriho ibiciro ngo arebe niba bihuye n’umufuka we… Ibyo ntibiba kuri sugar daddy.

Sugar daddy ntagorwa no kugura za kado zihenze nk’imikufi (jewelry), za chocolats, imyenda, ingendo z’ahantu nyaburanga n’ibindi byinshi bikundwa n’inkumi. Hari n'abagurira abo bakunzi babo amamodoka, mu gihe iyo uri umusore kubwira inkumi ngo itege moto urayishyura biba ari ukwirya ukimara (kwitera icyuma). Hari ba sugar daddies baha abakunzi babo amazu, bakababonera akazi gahemba neza n'ibindi.

3. Baba biyizera kandi bazi icyo bashaka

Mu gihe benshi mu basore bagaragara nk’abatiyizeye cyangwa batazi icyo bashaka imbere y’inkumi, abagabo bakuze bo baba bari confident kandi ntibarya iminwa ngo icyo batekereza kibaheremo (ntibanigwa n'ijambo kandi nawe baribwiye ntiwabaniga). Ni umuntu uba warahuye n’abagore benshi, ufite expérience ku buryo nta kimutungura. Niba ashaka ko musohokana ahita abikubwira, si nk’umusore utegereza yizeye ko wibwiriza. Ni umuntu uzi uburyo yagera ku cyo agamije nta kwinyuramo (maladresse/clumsiness), nta guta ibaba, nta no gukoresha ingufu.

Abagabo kandi ntibakangwa n'akaje kose, kandi barihangana kurusha twebwe abasore. Bajya inama, mbese ni abapapa pe!

4. Abasore benshi baba bafite imishinga itandukanye n’iy’abakobwa

Umukobwa uri munsi y’imyaka 18 aba akunda abasore beza, basa neza bakeye, b'abasitari, etc. Uko agenda akura niko agenda ashyiramo logique agasanga ataribyo bikenewe cyane mu buzima, bityo agatangira gushaka umuntu bazabana, kandi bakabana neza, nta nzara, akazabasha kumutunga we n’abana bazabyara. Ibi rero abasore benshi bari mu kigero cye baba batarabigeraho.

Ikindi nuko abakobwa bakura cyane kurusha twebwe abasore. Ndabizi neza ko umukobwa tunganya imyaka atekereza ibintu jye nzatangira gutekereza mu myaka itari mike iri imbere (gushinga urugo, kubyara, etc)! Uwo rero aba ashaka umuntu mukuru bumva ibintu kimwe, ariko nukwibeshya cyane kuko sugar daddy siwe muba muzabana, keretse wenda ari umugabo mukuru udafite umugore.

Niba uri umukobwa ukaba ukundana n’umuntu ukurusha imyaka 8 kuzamura, nta kibazo kirimo ni n’uburenganzira bwawe. Ariko niba uwo muntu afite umugore ni ikibazo gikomeye cyane.

- Ufite umugabo agatwarwa n’agakumi wabyitwaramo ute?
- Uramutse ufite umubyeyi (papa wawe) akaba afite umukobwa ungana nawe bakundana wabyifatamo ute?

- Ni iyihe mpamvu (nzima kandi ifatika) yatuma ukundana n’umugabo ukuruta kure, cyane cyane iyo afite umugore n’abana?

- Ese niba ufite sugar daddy, utekereza ingaruka mbi zishobora kukubaho (kwandura SIDA, guterwa inda n’umugabo usanzwe afite abandi bana, kugirana ibibazo n’umugore we, kutizerwa muri sosiyete n’ibindi)?

- Hari abakobwa muri iki gihugu (cyane cyane muri iyi Kigali) bafatwa nka ba kazarusenya kubera uburyo birirwa batwara abagabo b’abandi. Ese urifuza kuba umwe muri bo?

- Ko abagabo bazwiho guhararukwa vuba, ujya utekereza ko ashobora kwigendera agasanga akandi gakumi igihe icyo aricyo cyose?

- Ko abagabo birirwa mu dukumi aribo banafuhira abana babo b'abakobwa cyane, utekereza ko biterwa n'iki? Suko baba bazi ko ari bibi?