Gutandukana n’umukunzi wawe, umugabo/fiancé (e), si ibintu byoroshye na mba.Hari abatandukana babihubukiye, nyuma bakifuza kuba bakongera kubana cyangwa gukundana n’abo bashwanye, ugasanga ntibibashobokeye cyangwa bakabigeraho bibagoye cyane. Dore ibibazo 10 muba mugomba kwibaza mbere yo gufata umwanzuro wo gutandukana.
1- Ese nagerageje ibishoboka byose ngo twe gutandukana?
Mwagiranye ibihe byiza kenshi kandi igihe kirekire, none ubu, ntakinyikoza. Ahora ambwira ko akazi kabaye kenshi, hakaba nubwo muhamagara ntanyitabe. Ntabwo tukigirana ibihe byiza nka mbere. Mfashe umwanzuro, ngiye gutandukana na we nta nteguza. Oya ! banza ugerageze uko ushoboye, umenye impamvu aguha niba ari ukuri, ndetse unegere inkoramutima zawe zikugire inama. Mbere yo gufata icyemezo cyo gutandunana na we, banza ugerageze ibishoboka byose nibinanirana ube ari bwo ufata umwanzuro wo gutandukana.
2- Ese dufitanye imishinga yo mu gihe kizaza, dufite icyerekezo kimwe muri gahunda ziri imbere ?
Reba niba mufite imishinga imwe mu gihe kizaza. Tuzabyarana abana bangahe ? dufite kuzakora iki n’iki mu bihe biri imbere…Niba ubona mudafite icyerekezo kimwe, cyangwa hari ibintu byinshi mutumva kimwe kandi atava ku izima. Aho ushobora kurekana na we niba wumva udashobora kugendera ku murongo aguha cyangwa uwo wowe umuha, cyangwa se ngo mubashe kugirana ibiganiro kugira ngo mwumve ikiri ukuri muzakora cyangwa muzakurikiza mu buzima bwanyu buri imbere.
3- Ese nidutandukana nibwo nzagira ibihe n’ubuzima bwiza kuruta turi kumwe ?
Reba niba uko mubanye byibuze ari sawa ahubwo yenda akaba ari wowe udashobotse. Ushobora kurebera ku bandi bagenzi bawe nubwo mu rukundo buri wese akunda ukwe. Ariko gereranya urebe niba nimurekana ari bwo bizakugendekera neza kurushaho.
4- Ese simfashe icyemezo mpubutse cyangwa imburagihe ?
Reba neza niba icyemezo ufashe utagihubukiye. Reba niba waragerageje bihagije. Reba niba mu nama inkoramutima zawe zakugiriye waragerageje kuzikurikiza bikanga. Fata umwanya uhagije n’igihe gihagije cyo kubitekerezaho.
5- Ese mu by’ukuri kuba ngiye gutandukana na we ndi mu kuri cyangwa ni jye munyamafuti ?
Zirikana yuko niba ari wowe munyamafuti, n’undi muzahura uzongera ugongane na we. Ese kuba tugiye gutandukana aho nticyaba ari ikibazo gishingiye ku bijyanye no gutera akabariro gusa? Aho uzaba uyobye cyane. Gerageza gushaka ubundi buryo mwakemura ikibazo ubundi ibintu bigaruke mu buryo.
6- Ese niba ari we umpemukira njyewe nshobora kubyihanganira, kumubabarira no kumukosora tudatandukanye ?
Ashobora kuba akubeshya, aguca inyuma, muri make wumva akugambanira rwose. Niba wumva udashobora kubyihanganira, udashobora kumubabarira, kandi na we akaba atabivaho. Ushobora gufata umwanzuro rwose mugatandukana mu gihe ari wo muti usigaye wonyine.
7-Ese umuryango wange turabyumva kimwe ?
Mu kinyarwanda baravuga ngo umutwe umwe wifasha gusara ntiwifasha gutekereza. Banza urebe niba abo mu muryango wawe ba hafi babyumva kimwe nawe. Urugero, nka mama wawe, mwene nyoko wibonamo…ariko nanone ukabigiramo ubwenge kuko ushobora gusanga abo bakurusha cyangwa bamurusha amafuti.
8- Ese si jye nyirabayazana ?
Ni ngombwa rwose kwisuzuma ukongera ukisuzuma ukareba neza niba atari wowe uteza amahane. Mbese ko atari wowe nyiri amafuti no kutabana neza. Ubundi rero nuvumbura ko ari wowe nyirabayazana, wikosore, nusanga atari wowe…
9- Ese ubundi nzabasha kumureka neza neza ?
Abenshi bafata bene uyu mwanzuro, ariko ejo bagatangira kwirirwa barira cyangwa bagata umutwe bumva bashaka gusubirana na bo batandukanye. Mbese bakumva batabaho batabana na bo batandukanye. Ni ngombwa rero kureba niba ufite imbaraga zo gufata icyemezo ukanagishyira mu bikorwa.
10- Ese ubundi nubwo nshaka gutandukana na we ubundi ndacyamukunda cyangwa ntakimbamo ?
Niba wumva ukimukunda, ukifuza kumubona mu maso mubyutse, ukifuza kumupfumbata, nyamuneka itonde kurekana na we !! niba wumva ntacyo akikubwiye, wabona nawe utakimukunda, mbese utakimwibonamo, aho urumva iyo bijya.
Ngibyo ibibazo 10 uba ugomba kwibaza mbere yuko ufata umwanzuro wo gutandukana n’umukunzi wawe nkuko tubikesha Plurielles.fr.
Uru ni urubuga rwo kunguraniraho ibitekerezo ku myororokere n'imibereho y'abantu b'ingeri zose ndetse tukanamenyeraho abantu bakoze udukoryo mu gihe turimo
vendredi 24 juin 2011
Ibikorwa 20 by’urukundo mushobora gukora kugira ngo mushimishanye
Abantu benshi binjira mu rukundo bagakunda bakanakundwa ariko hakabaho igihe usanga urukundo rwabo rudakura cyangwa se ngo rubaryohere. Ugasanga rimwe na rimwe batumva ibyiza byo kuba mu rukundo, kutaryoherwa na rwo cyangwa se bikaba byanabaviramo no gutandukana (separation) bitewe n’uko bataba bitaye ku byo umwe ashobora gukorera undi kugira ngo bashimishanye ku mpande zombi bityo n’urukundo rwabo rurambe.
Ku bw’ibyo, waba umukobwa cyangwa muhungu, dore ibintu umuganga.com wagushakashakiye ushobora gukora kugira ngo ubagarire urukundo kandi unashimishe uwo ukunda( your boy friend/ girlfriend) bityo utavaho witesha amahirwe yo gukunda no gukundwa.
Urubuga rwa internet twifashishije tubitegura (www.anvari.org), rugaragaza ko hari ibikorwa by’urukundo (romantic things) bigera kuri 50 umuhungu cyangwa se umukobwa ashobora gukora kugira ngo ashimishe uwo akunda kandi binamufashe no kumva ibyiza byo kuba mu rukundo.
Muri ibyo 50 twabatoranirijemo 20 bishobora kubafasha kurunga/kuryoshya urukundo rwanyu.
Ibyo bikorwa ni ibi bikurikira:
1. Mu gihe uri kumwe n’uwo ukunda, jya ugerageza kumubwira mu ijwi ryoroheje ndetse akenshi nujya kumubwira akantu gasekeje cg se k’ibanga ujye ukoresha kumwongorera, ngo kuko ibi bituma yumva ibizongamubiri n’itandukaniro riri hagati yawe n’abandi.
2. Gerageza kumufata mu kiganza igihe muri kumwe mugendana, ngo kuko ibi bituma akwiyumvamo cyane, akanumva ko utamuri kure.
3. Niba kandi yagusuye, muhamagare umujyane mu gikoni mutegurane ifunguro. Urugero nk’umureti, agafiriti, gukaranga ubunyobwa n’ibindi. Ibi rero ngo biramushimisha kabone niyo mwateka ibitaryoshye.
4. Jya ukunda kumuha impano akenshi ndetse wibande kuzihendutse cyane rwose ngo kandi ujye ureba iyo atatekerezaga ko wamuha.
5. Kora ubushakashatsi umenye umwenda akunda muyo ufite hanyuma ube ari wo wambara igihe cyose muri kumwe.
6. Numuramutsa, jya umuhobera cyane kandi umwegereye kabone niyo mwaba muherukana vuba.
7. Fata igihe umubwire mutemberane mujye ahantu kure n’amaguru kandi hitaruye nko ku mucanga, mu ishyamba n’ahandi.
8. Jya ukunda kumubwira ko ari we wenyine wifuza kandi utamubeshya.
9. Fata akanya igihe muri kumwe umufate ku rutugu, umurebe mu maso na we akurebe, mumare nk’iminota ibiri mutavuga, ubone umubwire ko umukunda nibiba ngombwa unamusome utamuteguje.
10. Kora akantu kerekana ko mukundana igihe muri no mu bantu benshi.
11. Muririmbire kabone nubwo waba udafite ijwi ryiza ngo we biramshimisha
12. Mutumire aze musangire ifunguro haba mu rugo cyangwa se muri restora.
13.Mufate akaboko umurebe mumaso hanyuma umusome ku kiganza nurangiza uhite ugishyira mu gituza cyawe mu gice guherereyemo umutima (ibi biba byiza ngo iyo bikozwe n’umuhungu).
14. Jya umusaba uburenganzira bwo kumuhamagra kenshi.
15. Mu gihe wagize akazi kenshi, gerageza gushakisha byibura iminota mike ujye ahantu hatari urusaku hanyuma umuhamagare wibuke no kumubwira ijambo ngo “ndagukunda” (I love you).
16. Gerageza kumukorera ibintu bimwereka ko harimo ubwitange ariko wirinde kumubwira ko witanze. Wowe bikore, hanyuma we abibone utarinze kubimubwira.
17. Gerageza kumushushanyiriza ibyishimo byo kuba ari we muri kumwe mu rukundo.
18. Mufashe kwitoza kubwirana amagambo y’urukundo mu ndimi z’amahanga
19. Mujye mukorana gahunda zimwe na zimwe nko kujyana gusenga, kureba film, umupira n’ibindi bitandukanye ariko mwirinde kubana ahantu hamwe ( mu gipangu kimwe).
20. Jya wibuka amatariki afata nk’ingirakamaro mu buzima bwe nk’itariki ye y’amavuko, iy’umubatizo we, umunsi w’umutagatifu we n’izindi kandi umwereke ko wabyibutse.
Gukunda no gukundwa biba byiza ariko cyane cyane iyo hari icyo ubona bikumariye kuba mu rukundo. Mu gihe ufite uwo ukuunda rero ntugomba kugereka akaguru ku kandi ngo wumve ko cyakemutse ahubwo ngo ugomba guhora wita ku wo ukunda ushakisha icyo wamukorera, wibanda cyane cyane ku byamushimisha kugira ngo urukundo rwanyu ruhore rwaka. Mu gihe hari ibindi ushaka kumenya mu bijyanye n’ibyo wakora ngo ushimishe uwo ukunda ushobora gusura ururubuga http://www.anvari.org/ ubundi ukarushaho kuryohereza umukunzi.
Ku bw’ibyo, waba umukobwa cyangwa muhungu, dore ibintu umuganga.com wagushakashakiye ushobora gukora kugira ngo ubagarire urukundo kandi unashimishe uwo ukunda( your boy friend/ girlfriend) bityo utavaho witesha amahirwe yo gukunda no gukundwa.
Urubuga rwa internet twifashishije tubitegura (www.anvari.org), rugaragaza ko hari ibikorwa by’urukundo (romantic things) bigera kuri 50 umuhungu cyangwa se umukobwa ashobora gukora kugira ngo ashimishe uwo akunda kandi binamufashe no kumva ibyiza byo kuba mu rukundo.
Muri ibyo 50 twabatoranirijemo 20 bishobora kubafasha kurunga/kuryoshya urukundo rwanyu.
Ibyo bikorwa ni ibi bikurikira:
1. Mu gihe uri kumwe n’uwo ukunda, jya ugerageza kumubwira mu ijwi ryoroheje ndetse akenshi nujya kumubwira akantu gasekeje cg se k’ibanga ujye ukoresha kumwongorera, ngo kuko ibi bituma yumva ibizongamubiri n’itandukaniro riri hagati yawe n’abandi.
2. Gerageza kumufata mu kiganza igihe muri kumwe mugendana, ngo kuko ibi bituma akwiyumvamo cyane, akanumva ko utamuri kure.
3. Niba kandi yagusuye, muhamagare umujyane mu gikoni mutegurane ifunguro. Urugero nk’umureti, agafiriti, gukaranga ubunyobwa n’ibindi. Ibi rero ngo biramushimisha kabone niyo mwateka ibitaryoshye.
4. Jya ukunda kumuha impano akenshi ndetse wibande kuzihendutse cyane rwose ngo kandi ujye ureba iyo atatekerezaga ko wamuha.
5. Kora ubushakashatsi umenye umwenda akunda muyo ufite hanyuma ube ari wo wambara igihe cyose muri kumwe.
6. Numuramutsa, jya umuhobera cyane kandi umwegereye kabone niyo mwaba muherukana vuba.
7. Fata igihe umubwire mutemberane mujye ahantu kure n’amaguru kandi hitaruye nko ku mucanga, mu ishyamba n’ahandi.
8. Jya ukunda kumubwira ko ari we wenyine wifuza kandi utamubeshya.
9. Fata akanya igihe muri kumwe umufate ku rutugu, umurebe mu maso na we akurebe, mumare nk’iminota ibiri mutavuga, ubone umubwire ko umukunda nibiba ngombwa unamusome utamuteguje.
10. Kora akantu kerekana ko mukundana igihe muri no mu bantu benshi.
11. Muririmbire kabone nubwo waba udafite ijwi ryiza ngo we biramshimisha
12. Mutumire aze musangire ifunguro haba mu rugo cyangwa se muri restora.
13.Mufate akaboko umurebe mumaso hanyuma umusome ku kiganza nurangiza uhite ugishyira mu gituza cyawe mu gice guherereyemo umutima (ibi biba byiza ngo iyo bikozwe n’umuhungu).
14. Jya umusaba uburenganzira bwo kumuhamagra kenshi.
15. Mu gihe wagize akazi kenshi, gerageza gushakisha byibura iminota mike ujye ahantu hatari urusaku hanyuma umuhamagare wibuke no kumubwira ijambo ngo “ndagukunda” (I love you).
16. Gerageza kumukorera ibintu bimwereka ko harimo ubwitange ariko wirinde kumubwira ko witanze. Wowe bikore, hanyuma we abibone utarinze kubimubwira.
17. Gerageza kumushushanyiriza ibyishimo byo kuba ari we muri kumwe mu rukundo.
18. Mufashe kwitoza kubwirana amagambo y’urukundo mu ndimi z’amahanga
19. Mujye mukorana gahunda zimwe na zimwe nko kujyana gusenga, kureba film, umupira n’ibindi bitandukanye ariko mwirinde kubana ahantu hamwe ( mu gipangu kimwe).
20. Jya wibuka amatariki afata nk’ingirakamaro mu buzima bwe nk’itariki ye y’amavuko, iy’umubatizo we, umunsi w’umutagatifu we n’izindi kandi umwereke ko wabyibutse.
Gukunda no gukundwa biba byiza ariko cyane cyane iyo hari icyo ubona bikumariye kuba mu rukundo. Mu gihe ufite uwo ukuunda rero ntugomba kugereka akaguru ku kandi ngo wumve ko cyakemutse ahubwo ngo ugomba guhora wita ku wo ukunda ushakisha icyo wamukorera, wibanda cyane cyane ku byamushimisha kugira ngo urukundo rwanyu ruhore rwaka. Mu gihe hari ibindi ushaka kumenya mu bijyanye n’ibyo wakora ngo ushimishe uwo ukunda ushobora gusura ururubuga http://www.anvari.org/ ubundi ukarushaho kuryohereza umukunzi.
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